Critical mass

There is always that weight that you get to where you reach a critical point. Its that point where all your fat clothes are too tight, and there really isn't another size up unless you wish to start wearing mu-mus. The point where you have to stop denying that you are fat and healthy but that you are obese, morbidly obese ( I seriously hate that term). The point when you can see your future and it definitely isn't pretty. I have reached my critical mass. I am at the point where if I gain any more weight I won't be able to function easily. I have noticed in the last few months especially the last few weeks, how difficult it has been bending over, I have caught myself doing my fat bend or how I don't actually bend but sorta lean over without bending my knees with one leg stretched out balancing me so I don't topple over. Yeah that's attractive. I also have been avoiding going down stairs at work, I actually found myself upset at work cause someone didn't ask me to get something from down in the basement when I was down there and instead I had to make a second trip. Getting winded more easily. Praying to god that my pants don't rip.

I could gain more weight I mean it is physically possible but I have reached my personal stop point. I know I need to stop now, before I end up being one of those people confined a bed all alone all day because I cant work anymore or go out with my friends, or only get to the bathroom once a day because my joints can no longer support my weight. That thought terrifies me.

But I am going to do it, I am going to get healthier. I am going to look damn good one day I tell ya.