While I have been throwing up my hands in the air and saying "why, am I not losing" when I darn well know why I am not losing weight.It's Me. I haven't been logging my food all, I have been treating rice cakes and peanut butter as a meal and then a snack, and then a meal again. And cookies have slipped back from a sometimes food to a daily deal (sorry cookie monster but when I was a kid that was not your slogan!), my water consumption has gone way down, to pretty much just when I am at the gym. I have been hitting the gym but swimming sessions have been missed as I lost motivation to go in direct relation to the cold weather. And my blogging has gone way down even though I really should be doing blog therapy through this tough time.
So what in the world has gotten in to me?
I mean I want to lose weight, desperately. So whyhave I let myself slip, and lost some effort and commitment. I think that this is a very very complicated answer.
I probably did hit a plateau, but instead of busting through it, or doubling my effort I started slacking, first it wasn't logging my food one day, then the next and then a whole week. And then suddenly I started eating like it was going out of style. I mean I started looking for something else to eat before I had finished what I was chewing. And I kept rationalizing it, however I could.
I also think there is a deeper reason, I think I am afraid. I want to be under 300 lbs, but I don't think I have been under that weight for about 10 years. I have come close and each time I come close I begin to put the weight back on, I think I may be afraid and self sabotaging.
I know Obesity, I have always been obese/overweight, my family is all overweight/obese, I guess as much as I want to change I have this wall of safety of what I know that I am trying to break through.
I am up 3 lbs this week, up to 325. I will not make by under 300 by my birthday (which is next week). But I will do it.
I know what I have to do, I just need to do it.
So what in the world has gotten in to me?
I mean I want to lose weight, desperately. So whyhave I let myself slip, and lost some effort and commitment. I think that this is a very very complicated answer.
I probably did hit a plateau, but instead of busting through it, or doubling my effort I started slacking, first it wasn't logging my food one day, then the next and then a whole week. And then suddenly I started eating like it was going out of style. I mean I started looking for something else to eat before I had finished what I was chewing. And I kept rationalizing it, however I could.
I also think there is a deeper reason, I think I am afraid. I want to be under 300 lbs, but I don't think I have been under that weight for about 10 years. I have come close and each time I come close I begin to put the weight back on, I think I may be afraid and self sabotaging.
I know Obesity, I have always been obese/overweight, my family is all overweight/obese, I guess as much as I want to change I have this wall of safety of what I know that I am trying to break through.
I am up 3 lbs this week, up to 325. I will not make by under 300 by my birthday (which is next week). But I will do it.
I know what I have to do, I just need to do it.
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