Obsess much?

I can be like a dog with a bone, once I get something in my head, I just am so focused on it I just think about it over and over. Whether it is a problem, or an experience, a conversation, something I want, something I may never get, my insecurities or a decision that needs to be made, I end up spending an inordinate amount of time thinking about it. I will assess the situation, research, research some more, and then research some more, assess again, make a pros and cons list, do a bit more research, hem and haw a bit, possible beat my self up and then heck I may finally get around to making a decision. Then I will doubt my decision and change my mind, then I will re change it and stand firm in my original decision.

Take for example a simple task as dying my hair: should I go to a hairdresser? Can I afford it? what colour? is that too unnatural? Maybe I'll wait till next week. Maybe it will be on sale. until I finally realize that my roots have grown way out and my premature grey is prematurely aging me.

Needless to say I then spent an additional 20 min in the drug store isle deciding what colour I would go this time.

I don't know why I am so cautious and careful. Now I hide this, most people do not know I am this neurotic. I appear to be a normal person (ha!) okay I am sure my friends would say otherwise. I am a functioning member of society. Perhaps I just don't have enough stuff to do and I fill my time with the inane details. Or perhaps I am worried what others will think if I take a wrong step, stand out more then I already do. I am way to concerned with people pleasing.

Of course one of the biggest subjects I obsess over is obvious: My weight. Everything from; Why am I fat? Why can't I get it off? Why did I do this to myself? What should I eat? Why can't I plan better? Why can't I cook ahead? Why can't I just keep my mouth shut? And This has been going on for YEARS.

But unlike picking out hair dye, a decision that has a fairly rapid result I just keep obsessing over needing to, wanting to yet unable to Lose weight. Get Healthy, become good looking. It is just such a big problem to overcome, so many factors are involved. and some days it feels so intertwined with my other problems it is overwhelming. I am not just trying to lose weight, I am trying to overcome many of the facts, history, personal experiences, genetics, flaws, that make up me.