Sometimes I feel very lonely. I don't mind being alone, or by myself but it seems to be a lot. I exercise alone, either swimming or walking. I only have a few close friends that I don't get to see a lot as life seems to get in the way. We are all at different points in our lives They are either married and having children, or getting married while I remain single.
They also don't have a major weight problem like I have so I don't really know how much they would relate to it. Especially when it is such a big part of my life. I have a very small family, and I sometimes feel the panic when I think of losing one of them, not only because I love them and would miss them, but just how much smaller my family would become.
Now some of this is my own fault. I am shy, and self conscious about my weight, and well self esteem and I have never been on good terms. I am sure some people would never guess I am shy but I just put on a brave front in that regard. Acting. I am not involved in any activities where I could get to know more people, and I work long hours and am a homebody when I am home. I am also the independent ty
pe, even when I have a task to do at work I usually try to figure out a way to perform it myself before asking for assistance. I've never really made friends easily. (ha I guess that could just be my personality.)
So yes I am alone a lot of the time, but I am also alone on this weight loss journey. My family is overweight from moderate to markedly. But right now I am the only one seriously doing something about it. So it is up to me to "get er done" of course it has always had to been me, no one else can do this for me.
I do belong to a weight loss support group, but once again the person closest to my age in the group is my mother. All of the ladies are older, different activity levels, different abilities, different weight categories. I think that is one of the reasons I like reading blogs so much, not just for inspiration but I can find someone who is in a similar situation to mine, who have experienced what it is like to live your life at 379 lbs and try to change that.
So this is my journey, my road and I am the only one on it. However there is a similar road with a similar traveler in the next county. I guess I am not totally alone.
They also don't have a major weight problem like I have so I don't really know how much they would relate to it. Especially when it is such a big part of my life. I have a very small family, and I sometimes feel the panic when I think of losing one of them, not only because I love them and would miss them, but just how much smaller my family would become.
Now some of this is my own fault. I am shy, and self conscious about my weight, and well self esteem and I have never been on good terms. I am sure some people would never guess I am shy but I just put on a brave front in that regard. Acting. I am not involved in any activities where I could get to know more people, and I work long hours and am a homebody when I am home. I am also the independent ty
pe, even when I have a task to do at work I usually try to figure out a way to perform it myself before asking for assistance. I've never really made friends easily. (ha I guess that could just be my personality.)So yes I am alone a lot of the time, but I am also alone on this weight loss journey. My family is overweight from moderate to markedly. But right now I am the only one seriously doing something about it. So it is up to me to "get er done" of course it has always had to been me, no one else can do this for me.
I do belong to a weight loss support group, but once again the person closest to my age in the group is my mother. All of the ladies are older, different activity levels, different abilities, different weight categories. I think that is one of the reasons I like reading blogs so much, not just for inspiration but I can find someone who is in a similar situation to mine, who have experienced what it is like to live your life at 379 lbs and try to change that.
So this is my journey, my road and I am the only one on it. However there is a similar road with a similar traveler in the next county. I guess I am not totally alone.
1 comment:
You aren't alone. I've been traveling that road too. But I think I might see a glimmer of a light in a town up ahead. You'll get there too. :hug:
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