upbeat......that I'm not

The last few days I have been pretty down, well more like the last week. It is really hard to feel upbeat right now about this new attempt at weight loss, I have tried and failed so many times, and the road is so long, and the mountain awfully large to climb, okay enough with the analogies. But basically I have failed so often that I am afraid that I will fail again, and again. I am trying to make it stick, but it is still early days. I have only been working at it for three days, and I am starting off slowly, just counting calories etc for the first week. I think next week I will work on adding some exercise. I also have a really hard time talking about my weight, with people I know, I mean I write about it here, but it isn't like there is anyone reading, and no one knows me. I have told my mom and my best friend though, and that is more then I usually do.

I know once I start to have some success, I will start to feel better about it and myself. But I also know how easy it is to get discouraged when you weigh this much, I mean for most people losing 50 lbs would be a huge under taking and I have to lose almost 4 times that in total. Plus results take a long time to see, 50 lbs is nothing. So do I try to aim for smaller goals so that I feel like I am making some progress or do I try for percentage of overall weight.....I will see as I go along.