So I went to the weight loss support group meeting tonight, and it was okay, in fact really there was all of 10 mins spent discussing weight control and the rest of the time the ladies talked about other things. I mean it isn't like I don't know the information they can offer, I have been there before, I am practically a professional dieter, so I was okay with the lack of weight talk.
I was feeling pretty on edge though. A lot of it has to do with personal history. I have known some of these ladies my entire life, and they have seen me at all different weights including my short lived success of losing 100 lbs before regaining 200 back. I can't say I really like reliving those feelings of failure that I usually shove deep down in a pit. So I was on edge about the past, uncomfortable about the present, embarrassed because I stepped on a scale (by the way I had to bring my own because theirs doesn't go that high) in front of someone, someone who actually knows what I weigh. Someone I know. So I got a bit defensive. And my attitude came out, I am not that proud of it, but It made me realize that I use it alot, I get upset or unnerved, my attitude comes out. I am not mean (at least I don't think I am) but I realized I was a bit obnoxious. I will have to work on that.
P.S. 373 lbs, yikes.
I was feeling pretty on edge though. A lot of it has to do with personal history. I have known some of these ladies my entire life, and they have seen me at all different weights including my short lived success of losing 100 lbs before regaining 200 back. I can't say I really like reliving those feelings of failure that I usually shove deep down in a pit. So I was on edge about the past, uncomfortable about the present, embarrassed because I stepped on a scale (by the way I had to bring my own because theirs doesn't go that high) in front of someone, someone who actually knows what I weigh. Someone I know. So I got a bit defensive. And my attitude came out, I am not that proud of it, but It made me realize that I use it alot, I get upset or unnerved, my attitude comes out. I am not mean (at least I don't think I am) but I realized I was a bit obnoxious. I will have to work on that.
P.S. 373 lbs, yikes.
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