Day one is easy Day two is hard

Day one, you are on an emotional high, you have made a decision. You are going to be healthy and happy and you are going to get slim.  You are going to shed this poundage that is holding you back and down.  You are euphoric when you turn down every bad food choice, you are going to succeed. If only that feeling on the first day of your diet lasts.  When you are at day 5 or 25, and you have been the outsider at a function involving food, when your peers say "oh one piece won't hurt you", or when despite your hard work the scale is not showing you a reward.  Then maintaining your healthy eating is hard.  

I am at Day one again, and I am feeling that desperation for success, for changing my life. Today was easy.  I was at home, I had control over all my meals, no treats or temptations to distract me. Tomorrow will definitely harder I will be at work (with most of my exceedingly skinny co-workers, with high metabolisms) and we usually order in on Fridays but I will brown bag it.  And then after a long day at work dinner at my mom's.  I have asked her to cook something healthy, if at all possible.

It is time to change my life.  Now or never.  Get busy living or Get busy dying. (a little shawshank redemption for ya)

Weigh in: 374.5 down 9.5 lbs

9.5 lb loss was a nice positive reinforcement to my "Today I will not overeat" stagey.  

So week two begins, and I had some anxiety today because my BF called and wanted to meet for Lunch at Cora's breakfast bar.  So I said hey why not! They serve fruit, it must be very healthy.  To be diligent I googled the menu looking for the nutritional information, which as it turns out the company doesn't provide. I am not sure what company doesn't provide nutritional information now a days, I mean the pizza joint around the corner from my place does, and this a franchised restaurant. Well plans were already made and I choose what look the least dangerous calorie wise.  It was delicious and I enjoyed every bit.  I don't want to go off track, I am still dealing with the overwhelming disappointment of having gained 60 lbs back in a year, but eating out is not really a trigger for me, it is sitting at home all alone that I do the most damage to my diet.  Sitting on the couch mindlessly eating. 

We had a girlie day which also included pedicures, shopping for clothes and shoes an just hanging out. I managed not to purchase any of the amazing sweets or biscuits at one of my favorite bakeries when were out shopping, which if I had brought those biscuits home they would be gone in a few days. I just kept repeating my mantra in my head. 

It was a really nice day, I definitely am going to treat myself to more pedicures in the future, nice and relaxing and no calories!

Back to swimming

I have decided to go back swimming.  The gym experiment was a terrible one, it was originally supposed to be something my friend and I could do together, however our exercise needs and interests lay in different directions, and our schedules never meshed. And then the gym chain went out of business so the location I belong to is no longer convenient for me. And of course the biggest factor of all is that I just stopped going, I mean I stopped doing everything health related.  I can't think about how far I have fallen, I have to just focus on the today. Not how far I need to go.  My main goal right now is to feel comfortable in the clothes I have again.  So I must remain focused on my mantra, I will not overeat today.

I have been pretty good not overeating, I have been very conscious of what I put in my mouth, and I am trying to stop the habit of grabbing a fist full of cereal, or crackers when I pass through the kitchen. Tomorrow is weigh in day, we will see if it paid off.

I purchased a new bathing suit, to fit my current size. It is a two piece a halter style top and a bottom with a short skirt, similar to a skort.  I have never swam in a two piece bathing suit in my life and it was a bit odd at first, the top fluttered a bit in the water when I dived under and I thought I was going to lose the whole top. 

Once again I chose to start back at swimming the week before the pool does it shutdown for maintenance. So now I have to drive to a different community pool.