Home sweet pool

My regular rec center shut down last week for it's annual maintenance, boy did I miss it. I wasn't going to quit swimming for a week so I headed to the next closest rec center to my home. During this process I learned something, I have been going to the NICE pool. Now I am not complaining. I am very lucky to live in a city that has a great recreation system but wow, what a difference a short car drive makes! It was very nice tonight to be in a change room with stalls that lock, showers with warm water, and staff that were actually padding the swim time a bit instead of calling TIME on the early side (they also didn't harass us to hurry up out of the change room either), and I could walk there and back. It's so nice to be home.

Weigh in Wednesday

Down another 2 lbs, yeah! I was really hoping I could say goodbye to the 360's but that my friends will be next week. Can't wait! I have actually been excited to weigh in. God how weird is that??? I just can't wait to see what progress I have made in the past week, can't wait to reach a new goal, a new achievment. Can't wait for all the little losses to add up and beging to see physical results.

The last month I have been feeling really positive lately. I even went clothes shopping and didn't leave miserable and spirt crushed. I even bought a new pair of capris for the summer ( I do not do shorts!). They fit, but fit tight. By the end of the Summer I will be reporting how loose they are getting, I swear it!

Manual labour

I am not sure how many calories it burns, but I am sure paying for it today. I spent about four hours on sunday, weeding, digging, hauling yard waste trying to make a realatives backyard presentable. I am feeling muscles today I wasn't aware I had. And to make matter even better, the city didn't take all the bags during collection this morning, so I had to haul them back to the garage so when the rain hits the bags don't disintergrate.

So basically I was tired, I hurt, I had worked a full day on my feet and the most I wanted to do tonight was lay on the couch and fall into a coma but I didn't. I would like to say it was due mainly to my willpower and desire to lose weight but in reality my dogs consistant begging did the trick. But here is where I am most proud of myself. I started out the walk saying to myself, just go around the track one time, your just not up to it tonight. Then on the second lap I thought, okay 3 times around aint to bad. So by the time I did the fourth I was pretty pleased with myself.

Pain

For as long as I can remember my mom has always been in pain. She was told many years ago that she would be in a wheel chair with in a few years. She was told to stop working. She was told she would be dead. But since she doesn't like being told what to do she hasn't died, she isn't in a wheel chair and she works 12 hours a day.

As you can surley guess my mom is morbidly obese too. She has done great over the years she is down from over 400 lbs to around 250 lbs it has taken her 30 years but I am proud of her, She still has a long way to go. But still she is in pain every single day. She has arthritis all over her body, complicated from years of having to much weight on her joints.

When I was a kid, I was used to dealing with her pain, I didn't understand it, and sometimes when I had to go do the laundry cause she couldn't do the stairs that day, or always bring in the groceries cause she couldn't carry anything, or when we had to stop and sit on a bench in the mall because she couldn't stand any longer, I would roll my eyes and think " it can't be that bad just get up and do it!". I was a good kid but not perfect. I didn't always like being a little adult.

I have been overweight since the age of 4, and obese since I was 13 and morbidly obese since I was 20 I have been carrying all that extra weight on my joints. My knees hurt especially when I am up and down off the floor all day long, and my right hip is starting to ache pretty regularly now. I am not to the point where I am taking pain killers yet, I am just dealing with it. But it has given me a small glimpse of what She has delt with every day and how it hasn't kept her down. It makes me admire her even more.

Just one more reason to shed the extra weight. I am my mothers daughter, and I have seen what the future holds, I just don't wan't to spend it in pain.

Weigh in

Down 3 lbs. whoo hoo! I got the whole, Rush of joy when I saw the new number of 363. I was actually looking forward to getting on the scale (gasp!). I couldn't wait to see how I did. Overall I had a really good week. I stayed on track pretty well, and I hit the pool three times. I also went for a big walk on Sunday. I am aiming for another 3 lbs for next week. I would like to get under 350lbs by the end of July. 16 lbs gone!

Wearing out the jeans

I had one good pair of jeans. One pair that didn't have patches on the inner thigh area, a pair I would wear out to any gatherings so I didn't risk anyone seeing the patches. I was really hoping that they would last long enough for me to shrink to another size but no such luck. The first hole has appeared. Darn friction!


Just for once I would like to have a pair of pants that didn't end up having to patch the inside thighs. Maybe one day the knees will go first! Something to look forward to.

The good news is that holey jeans are all the rage right now!

Good News!

I'm down 6 lbs! Take that gain from last week, I fixed you good!

Okay so I am a little bit happy about losing. It just feels good to be getting some results. But lets have a reality check. This is a habit of mine, do well for awhile, lose a few pounds and then get overconfident. I'm doing so well I can just eat this or that and next thing you know I am right back where I started from.

Down to 366 lbs.

I have been just winging it the last month, it is time to get focused and start working to my potential.

Dieter's amnesia

You know how everyone says that after a long hard labour and delivery once a women holds her baby she will forget all the pain?

I'm not talking from experience here since I don't have kids, but I have been thinking about how after many diets, many weight loss attempts I tend to forget what a pain and hard work the whole eat less, exercise more , lose weight thing is! I spend the first few weeks of my recommitment to weight loss in this kind of optimistic daze where I think to myself "oh gosh, I will just eat less then 2000 cal a day and exercise 1/2 hr a day and the weight will just MELT off". Then I start to fantasize about how in a few months I will have to buy some new clothes, and how maybe I will feel good looking for once.

But then reality sets in. This isn't easy. Eating 2000 cals a day isn't as easy when you have previously been eating probably twice that. Exercising 1/2 hour a day is hard when you work a 10 hour day on your feet and you are exhausted. Doing any sort of exercise is pretty darn hard when you have basically been a couch potato and are so out of shape just walking can be daunting much less anything more intensive. And we're not talking a few months here, it's gonna take YEARS.....if I don't give up as I have done in the past. Repeatedly.

So I guess Weight loss is a bit like labour. Your going to sweat, there is going to be pain, lots of emotion, lots of panting, no one EVER wants to see any kind of video of the process but the payoff at the end is going to be worth it.

But unlike labour hopefully if successful you will not forget all that effort, just so you won't have to do it all over again.

Damn I wish there was a weight loss equivalent to an epidural!

Weigh in

Up 2 lbs! So unexpected. I exercised, I ate decently but I gained. I was actually excited to get on the scale tonight, but it disapointed me. But I am not going to get discouraged. I could have gained for so many reasons. So I am going to keep on trucking.

I got back in the pool for the first time in months. I plan to go again tommorow night. My goal is to go swimming 3 x per week for at least 1/2 hour, more as I get stronger. I also walked for half an hour several times this week, but I know that I have to do more.