Some things you just don't need to see.....

I hate the entire wall, floor to ceiling mirror that the Gym or excuse me "fitness center" has positioned right in front of the cardio machines. So as I am huffing and puffing I get to stare at myself and see exactly what my body looks like when moving. It is already hard enough to get up the courage to go into the gym when you are morbidly obese, and get on the machines next to the very pretty skinny young 19 year old who has never had a weight problem in her life, but what has always helped is for me to stop thinking what I look like, think to myself "screw em" and just get down to business. That is hard to do when you get watch your thighs rubbing together in real time.

Now this isn't my regular gym, it is one of the ones that happen to be on my way home from work, so I thought I would pop in and give it a try, since I have access to all the ones in this particular chain in the province. Now I can understand having the mirror near the weights, where people may need to check their form, make sure they are positioned right etc. But in front of the cardio machines. Come on!

Body image, and further perspectives given from the Biggest Loser

Body image. Boy is that ever a loaded topic. I know I am fat. Morbidly Obese. I get that. But most of the time I just have to live my life, without thinking every second of the day about what I look like. I consider that healthy, I have other things to pay attention too. But when I do look in the mirror I try to make a frank assessment. No I am not attractive this way, and while occasionally I let that get the better of me and get down in the dumps about how my body looks (usually occurs during a stressful occasion such as getting dressed up for an event and looking like shit yet again) if I didn't put that aside and get over it I wouldn't leave the house.

So I take a look at myself in the mirror and inspect what I look like, but sometimes it doesn't sink in just how large I am.

I was watching the newest season of the Biggest loser, and it is the worst part (If I was in the contestants shoes.) the part where they weigh you in in front of all the people you know for all the world to see. And I am guessing their weights before they step on the scale. and this older Guy gets up there and takes off his shirt and gets weighed, and I think to myself, I bet he weighs gosh 410-420, he is a really big man, and he weighs in at 350 lbs.....my exact weight. Do I look like that! I ran to my mirror and started to asses, yes I am obese, but I don't think I look that big! Then another women gets weighed in and I think, yeah were probably the same weight and she ends up a good 70 lbs lighter then me.

So even accounting for differences in body shape, I obviously have a skewed body image since I can't even guesstimate which contestants are close to me in weight.