Sunday, February 27, 2011

Calorie Cramming

The last few weeks I have been eating mass amounts of food, I have definitely been feeling a bit out of control with food consumption. I guess most people would define it as binging. All right, it's binging. See there I can be honest. I have demolished a box of cereal in a couple of days. Sitting there grabbing a handful of cereal putting it in my mouth and then grabbing another before I have even swallowed. Clearly this in unhealthy behavior. While I am doing this I am thinking, "No! you don't need these extra calories!" But something else is saying "more, more, more, more." Is it my brain? I don't really think it is conscious thought. Is it some brain chemistry gone haywire? Is cereal, and rice cakes my cocaine? is there some emotional trigger setting me off? Work is the same stress level as always not too much has changed, and there is nothing in my personal life that is bothering me, in fact I am happier then usual. My schedule was messed up last week and am still recovering from that. Whatever the cause, I need to stop the symptom. I just don't know how.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

A big gain, but I deserved it

I gained 4 lbs this week. I totally earned every single pound. I was away all weekend attending a work related conference and then when I came home I attended a party, where I consumed alcohol and lots of salty foods. Then I skipped the gym.

So this week I am heading back to the basics. Drink water, eat 2000 cals a day, exercise 4 times this week and log my food and start heading back in the right direction.

Back up to 328


P.S. I have a funny feeling that my mom may have stumbled on this little journal of mine, I figure she must have checked the browser history or something on her computer when mine was out to the shop. So Mom if your reading this, I know....... and I didn't tell you about this for the 2 years I have been writing on it is because I just don't talk about it. No one knows.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

I just love a sale

You can't go wrong when pretty much the only above average clothing store around (on this side of the border) has a 70% off sale. I had just thought to myself the other day that I wouldn't be purchasing any clothes till spring, and give myself some time to drop down some more weight. But then I got that email so I had to go. I really wanted to go on Friday but didn't make it till today. So I'm sure a lot of the really good stuff went already but what was really awesome was not only did I end up getting a pair of jeans for $10, they fit, and they were a size 26! They are a bit tight, but they did up with out any fancy sucking in, lying down, or praying! I did try on other pants size 26 and they fit too, but I didn't really need any dress pants so they stayed at the store. It was so nice to leave the store knowing that one day maybe in the distant future I will be able to shop in regular stores. The previous day I spent several hours out shopping with my friend, however we didn't go into any stores that had clothes above a XL, which was a bit disappointing, I mean you get to look at all these great clothes, but wonder if you will ever be able to fit into them.

But today I revel in my victory, I am now in a smaller pant size then last may when I restarted this journey.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Weigh in Wednesday

Down 8 lbs. okay That number is a bit skewed. Two weeks ago I had a big gain 5 lbs that I had lost by the next day and the next Wednesday there was a snowstorm so the weigh in was canceled. So that is a 3 lb loss over 2 weeks. It was still really awesome to see that number. So I now weigh 323 lbs!. 24 lbs to go in the next 57 days to reach my birthday goal.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

The ring test

I still wear my graduation ring from high school. It has been over 10 years now since I graduated and I have thought about no longer wearing it. It is the only jewelery I wear except when it comes to special occasions (it is just not practical in my daily work life). It is stone in the center is getting awfully chipped up and it's not even that pretty of a ring. I keep it on for two main reasons: 1) a relative bought it for me, and it is one of the few connections I ever had to that person 2) I can do the ring test whenever I want to.

What is the ring test? well it's pretty simple, if I can easily get it on and off my finger I know I am doing pretty good weight wise. When I wake up on weigh in day it is one of the first things I do, if I can't get it off the finger a gain will occur, (thank you water retention) however if I can chances are good i will have lost. It's more accurate then the groundhog on Feb 2. I guess it is becoming a bit of a habit slipping the ring on and off during the day, it is a little instant validation of all my hard work. I remember a time when I didn't take it off, just because it felt like I was trying to rip my finger off at the same time. But now it comes off with little effort.

Maybe I will reward myself with a new ring one of these days, maybe at the 80 lbs down mark. By then hopefully I will be having a hard time keeping my grad ring on.

Monday, February 7, 2011

smash and grab eating

I Have been terrible with eating these last few days, very much smash and grab, no planning. It sort of works like this: "I am hungry! oh look there are some crackers, oh hey peanut butter. ummm peanut butter and crackers. " Pretty much like that. I really need to start working on more of the nutrition aspect, and meal prep. Because the trouble begins when I am hungry, and there isn't any food with a reasonable prep time then snacking happens, just to "tide you over" until dinner is ready but really that is just extra calories making their way into my system. Sneaky buggers. I have also had a lack of logging my food, which I have no excuse for, it's as if I totally forgot it was something I did every day.

So there is what I need to work on, along with many other things.

But I do have two good things to report.

1) I made myself go to the gym tonight after work, my brain was giving me every excuse in the bood. "go home first then head to the gym" "you worked out yesterday, you don't need to go today" "your tired you worked hard today". blah blah blah, blah. But I persevered I drove myself into that parking lot because I knew if I went home first there was no getting me back out again.

2)My bath towel actually wrapped around me. Now it is a really really large towel, but I couldn't believe it when I stepped out of the shower last night and realized that there wasn'ta large gaping space leaving me indecent. whoo hoo!

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Movie Popcorn 2

I headed out to the movies last night for the half price Tuesday and saw The Kings speech. Which by the way is excellent. I love Colin Firth, even though he was way hotter as Mr. Darcy in P&P but I can't imagine any actor being able to do a better job. I didn't expect to laugh as much as I did and I have now picked up a new combination of swear words to use when exercising, thank you King George VI.

But the true challenge of any movie going experience is the popcorn. I told myself during the day, well just don't have it. But I really wanted some. So I bought the kids combo, which had maybe 4 cups of popcorn instead of the smallest bag of popcorn which probably has something like 10. And it was enough. I was satisfied and I didn't just keep on munching since it was all gone.