Dinner

I spent a large part of my weekend cooking. You would think that this would be counter productive to losing weight, but I didn't eat the food I just cooked it.

I get home from work each night about 7 pm and I want to eat Immediately! Or as close to immediately as possible, so I don't really want to wait another 30-45 mins preparing a meal. So far I have found the best solution to doing this is to pre cook my food and freeze it. Also I package anyl the leftovers from a regular meal for later as well, and I don't have to do dishes each night which I totally love (sort of feeding into my lazy nature, which is totally unrelated to being fat!) So I have a ton of chicken, chicken pot pie, mashed potatoes, grilled potatoes with rosemary and garlic, turnip, turkey soup, pasta with hot italain sausage just waiting in my tiny little freezer. This way I am less likely to snack in desperation as I am waiting for my dinner, and my portions are more controlled. My only mistake was making a whole try of homeade rice krispies thinking I would be saving money on not buying the individual wrapped store bought snacks, however in the end I just ended up costing myself calories. mummmmm they were good. Oh well no regrets.

Current weight

366.5 lb

2.5 lbs loss

Missing out

I am a pretty recreational active person despite my obesity, I go walking, swimming, go out to social events, movies. On a whole my policy is to not stop myself from doing something because I am fat, even though I am naturally a shy person and sometimes have to force myself. But there are always those instances where I just know that I can't join in on this activity, or do something physical, it just isn't going to work.

Of course it's always something I would love to do, or that may be difficult to excuse myself from without getting into the reasons why. I just know that I do have physical limitations and I have caused them myself.

I found out today that some of my co-workers are organizing a trail ride for all interested parties. I love horses! I love riding! I haven't been on a horse in more then 10 years because I don't want to kill the horse! I also always had an issue with mounting since an injury to my knee. So not only am I going to miss out on an activity I would love, I will miss out on the socialization with my co-workers in a non work setting.

According to this article on the weight watchers site:

http://www.weightwatchers.com/util/art/index_art.aspx?tabnum=1&art_id=59481&sc=3039

There is no set upper limit for the rider's weight a horse can carry, but a lot of riding schools will place weight limits so their horses are not injured or overworked. But better to be safe then sorry, I would never want to inadvertently injure an animal, its not like when you sit on a chair and break it, that's embarrassing. Imagine breaking a horse, I don't think I could show my face at work again, or outside my door for that matter. Most riding schools seem to range from about 220-250 lbs as the maximum weight allowed. So lets say I lose 10 lbs a month (wishing and hoping) then maybe the earliest I could start horseback riding would be a year from now ( I totally should not have figured that out! that is more depressing then encouraging!)

I am trying not to dwell on all the things miss due to my body, but to currently enjoy the things I can do. Another good reason to continue on....

The wagon

Well I decided to start off this weight loss effort more slowly. I don't want to overwhelm myself. In the past I have gone all gun ho from the start and at 150 % effort and enthusiasm which I just can't keep up with in the long term. I will fall off the wagon from time to time, that is inevitable, but what I really want is to be able to get back up on it. In the past I will fall off the wagon HARD, and the jar from the fall will cause me to stay off the wagon for weeks, and I will keep telling myself that I will start back tomorrow, or the next day, or the next month, and before I know it I have been the wagon is so far up the trail I am left in the dust (okay too much imagery??) and I have lost all the ground I had gained. I feel so disgusted about myself for allowing myself for falling off in the first place, and also for allowing myself to get in this condition. So I have started off slowly. I want to learn to drive this wagon and stay on (again with the imagery, I just can't seem to stop.)

So week one, I was just trying to get back into control. I was eating portions (maybe slightly bigger then normal portions) but with enough control that I wasn't feeling all that hungry. I also was tracking my food intake, and caloric intake. But that was the extent of my juggling act (don't want to start off with too many balls flying in the air). This week I will try to incoporate some exercise, not alot at first, but just get my feet wet.

Weight

I weighed myself Saturday morning and my first week of trying has rewarded me with a six pound weight loss. I was hoping for 2 lbs, so I was very very very happy to see I had lost six.

Current weight 369 lbs.

Weekend wasn't too bad

Well my weekend was not that bad, on a whole I was pretty good, food intake wise, I probably should have stayed a bit further away from the tortilla chips, but otherwise I was good. I did have a small slice of cake, but I also had veggies and fruit. I snacked to much when I got home today, I was hungry from the long drive but it wasn't anything to be discouraged about. So I will officially consider this weekend as a neutral event, I could have done better, I could have done worse. So yeah me.

First test of temptations

Well this weekend will be my first real test of temptations, going to places where there is no control of what is served. I am not only going to a baby shower, but as well the next day I am going to a huge fair. As well as staying over with friends. So we will see how it goes. I am wondering if it is a bit over the top to bring some of my own snacks if I feel the need to munch. Obviously not during the festivities, but for car rides, long lines, ect.

Just have to remember, if I mess up a little, it's not the end of the world.