Friday, October 8, 2010

Compartmentalizing my life

There is this section of my life, a very large section (ha ha) I will label Weight. It contains lots of stuff in it such as weight loss, obesity, exercise, clothing size, holey jeans, why I'm fat, why I'm still fat, calorie counters, nutrition etc etc. Basically everything and anything to do with weight loss. And I do not share this section with everyone. I compartmentalize what I discuss with whom. It is kinda weird. I mean I share some of it with family members, and the ladies at my weight loss support group, and my best friend knows some but not all. And believe me when I say I would basically have to have me at gun point for me to utter my exact weight or how many pounds I need too lose and yet here I announce it to the world, must be the semianonymity.

However I do not share any of it with the girls at work. I work in a small work environment, and the ladies at work and I talk about just everything from family to money, politics, religion, our pet peeves, what is currently pissing us off. I mean we probably spend more time with each other then our families. And several of my co-workers I consider close friends.

I know my co-workers aren't idiots. They know I have a weight problem, but I think they respect that I do not wish to discuss it. Only once, when I had worked there for a bout a year did my supervisor try to broach the subject, I cut her off and told her I wouldn't talk about it and when she persisted I walked away and ended up crying quietly in the bathroom because I just can't discuss my weight in my workplace, my job is stressful enough and I do not need to deal with the emotional turmoil that my weight causes me. I can't deal with it there.

So at work I do not join in any conversation that my remotely end up in a topic related to obesity. If the girls mention they need to lose 5 lbs, or they are trying this new diet, I don't reciprocate. I never mention where I go Wednesday nights (to WL support group) or while I will mention going swimming once in awhile I don't think they equate it to me exercising.

I am a bit worried that as I continue to lose weight and it becomes more noticeable that it will suddenly be open season on the topic, and how will I deal with that. I am not sure I am ready to deal with unsolicited advice and comments good or bad. But I guess I will cross that bridge when I come to it.

1 comment:

Kimberly said...

I used to be the same way about my weight. It was off limits to everyone in my daily life. I understand your inability to talk about it. My advice is to do what you did with your boss - tell them that you are uncomfortable talking about it and ask that they respect your wishes. Don't make a big deal about it just let them know how you feel about the topic and change the subject. Losing a large amount of weight means that you have to be selfish about it. It is hard enough doing that alone without dragging any unnecessary emotional baggage into it.